KUOMagazine.com " Faith Session"

5 Positive Steps for Handling Criticism

Written by Dr. Phillip A. Lee Fatt, KUOM contributing writer
Article published July/August 2015 of KUOMagazine.com

One of the early facts of life everyone learns is that no matter how good, perfect, helpful, honest or brilliant you may be – someone will be there to criticize you. In fact, the only effective way to minimize criticism is to do nothing; say nothing, and to be nothing, and even then you will be criticized for being in a state of nothingness. So what are the positive steps that you can use to handle the inevitability of criticism?

1. Waiting before responding - gives you the time to reflect in a calmer way and to avoid the unpleasant consequences of answering back with feelings of hurt and anger. It also gives you the opportunity to analyze whether the criticism is nonsense, destructive or constructive.

2. Ignore nonsense criticism - There are some people who just have to say something negative or nonsensical just to be noticed. I had one board member who would always vote against the majority so that his name would be reflected individually in the minutes. Naturally his words and actions were almost always ignored.

3. Have a pre-planned built-in defensive strategy - to overcome destructive criticism. The people who level destructive criticism against you mean you no good. They are intent on destroying your reputation, well-being, ego and relationships. Destructive criticism often includes willful negative misinterpretations of your words and actions, outright lies designed to bring you harm, and a mean-spirited willingness to degrade your sense of worth.

• This type of criticism can wreak havoc on your mental and emotional well-being, so it is best to have a pre-planned built-in defensive strategy to deal with this deadly attack.

• The first defense is to know your worth. You are worth so much that God sent His Only Begotten Son into the world to die for you (John 3:16). If God values you to such an extent, what can mere criticism do but fall away from His cocoon of Agape Love built around you?

• The second defense is to realize that those who want to bring you down are at that moment below you; don’t allow yourself to sink to their level. Maintain a noble lifestyle and “walk in wisdom towards them that are without...” (Col, 4:5)

• The third defense is to keep on doing the best you can, while maintain a cheerful and positive disposition. While others may be better than you in certain endeavors, always strive to be the best you can be in all that you do. This attitudinal approach will confuse and frustrate your enemies.

• The fourth defense is just like handling the nonsense criticism, just simply ignore it.

4. Welcome constructive criticism - As the saying goes “Praise makes you feel good, good critique makes you better”. We can determine when criticism is constructive if it is genuinely designed to help you to improve and benefit. The source of the criticism is often a good indicator of what type it is:  Ecclesiastes 7:15 says. “Better to be criticized by a wise person than to be praised by a fool.” Remember also that we sometimes have to separate the constructive part of the criticism from its tone and style of the delivery, and that is why it’s best to hesitate before responding. 

5. Finally, do not be your own purveyor of destructive criticism - It’s hard to be happy when someone is always criticizing you; so be nice to yourself. Don’t be your own worst enemy. Instead, become like King David and be you own best encourager; encourage yourself in the Lord. (I Samuel 30:6)

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